“College is gonna be the best four years of your life.” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone say the phrase, I’d be rich. Sure, it might not be intended to cause any harm, but what if this societal belief doesn’t reflect the reality for many students? What if perpetuating such narratives creates a somewhat fantastical portrayal of the college lifestyle that could be detrimental to individuals whose experiences fall outside those expectations?
Though it is possible for some to build a diverse circle of friends, participate in parties and social clubs, all while gaining memorable experiences, the lived reality for many, however, is long nights of coursework, constant pressure, loneliness, and unremarkable routines.
We neglect to acknowledge the fact that the idealized college experience is dependent on financial security, sound mental health, and sufficient resources, all of which are out of reach for many students. And I would know, because I, myself, am a college student and can definitely say that these haven’t been the best years of my life. I’ve struggled with feelings of failure because my reality diverged from the conventional college narrative. Hear me when I say that your college experience is not a reflection of your value or worth, and better days are indeed coming.
This sense of isolation is more often than not a feeling most of us share, and there are a lot of students who are not enjoying their college experience as much as they thought they would be. It is important that we take into account the struggles that we face as students, to raise awareness and advance initiatives for students’ mental health and general well-being.
ACADEMIC STRESS
Deadlines, due dates, looming assignments. This is the less glamorous side of college that is seldom discussed. University acts as a transitional stage—a bridge between our remnants of childhood and the daunting realities of professional adulthood. Most of us come as freshly accomplished high school graduates and are presented with rigorous syllabi, assignments, and exams that we’re expected to quickly adapt to, all while managing our social life and the newfound freedom we have. Adjusting to unfamiliar teaching methods, bigger classes, and more demanding academic standards inevitably creates stress for students. Not to mention that numerous students face pressure to expeditiously settle on a major, and a career path, which can oftentimes feel like an end-all, be-all decision. This may manifest itself as students drudging through courses they have little to no interest in, either because of familial pressure or the course’s practicality and financial prospects. This can create additional stress, as students are actively fighting against their own interests and forcing themselves towards pursuits they do not enjoy, which may end up taking a toll on their mental health and studies.
A 2022 study surveying 843 college students found a significant correlation between academic stress and poor mental well-being across all participants (Mulaudzi, 2023). The same study revealed that non-binary students reported the lowest mental health scores and highest academic stress, while women and non-binary students experienced higher academic stress than men. Additionally, according to a 2015 survey, three in four college students reported feeling stressed, with one in five reporting stress-related suicidal ideation (Barbayannis et al., 2022).
FINANCIAL STRAIN
Financial constraints pose another significant challenge for college students. A 2018 survey indicated that 35% of students found their financial situation “stressful,” with 24% describing it as “often stressful” (Moore et al., 2021).
Beyond the high costs of tuition, students must face additional costs for lodging, food, transportation, necessities, and extracurricular activities. Most students apply for financial aid, scholarships, and loans, and while that does alleviate pressure; many students still have substantial expenses to cover, which may not include the elaborate parties, lavish social events, and other things often associated with the stereotypical college narrative. Financial limitations can cause additional stress and feelings of marginalization if students cannot afford to participate in leisure activities. This, in turn, may negatively impact both their mental health and social life if they struggle to engage in the experiences that their peers use to connect.
SOCIAL ADJUSTMENT
Countless people reinforce the idea that college is where our lifelong friendships are made, and that forming connections becomes increasingly difficult as we age. While that may be objectively true, it places a burden on students to frantically seek out friendships, which oftentimes may be at the expense of their values and morals.
Approximately 65% of college students report feeling lonely, with more than half (51.7%), expressing concern about their friends’ mental health, and a study shows that students who experience loneliness are over four times more likely to suffer from severe psychological distress (Rock, 2024). A study in 2020 found that 29.65% of college students experienced high levels of social anxiety (Zha et al., 2023).
It is evident that in this increasingly digitized age—one exacerbated by COVID—that adolescents often struggle to develop meaningful relationships. A significant number of students suffer from social anxiety or other mental health challenges that can impact their ability to form connections. Their experiences with social anxiety and isolation may contribute to depressive symptoms and envy as they watch others connect.
MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES
A study by the World Health Organization, shows that 35% of incoming college freshmen had preexisting mental health issues, and reported symptoms consistent with at least one mental health disorder, such as depression or anxiety (American Psychological Association, 2018). Despite the prevalence of mental health issues, only about 36% of the students that had a mental health condition sought treatment in the previous year (Vidourek et al., 2014).
Alongside the shame often attached to mental health issues, students often avoid seeking help due to:
● Lack of awareness and inability to recognize their symptoms as treatable mental health concerns. (Many students simply attribute their struggles to laziness or exhaustion when the underlying issue is more complex.)
● Financial concerns and fear that the services are limited or not fully covered by their insurance.
● Concern that therapy will take time away from their rigorous coursework, jobs, and/or extracurricular commitments.
● View of therapy as being ineffective. (Many male students feel obligated to “man up” and conform to traditional masculine norms.)
● Cultural or familial influences that discourage open discussion of mental health, thus deterring them from seeking it.
We can see how closely these issues are linked. Financial strain, academic stress, and a struggling social life can contribute to poor mental health. And likewise, poor mental health can exacerbate academic stress, financial strain, and a struggling social life, which can create this overwhelming cycle that is difficult to break.
WHY AM I TELLING YOU ALL THIS?
If you’re a university student, you’re probably already somewhat aware of all of this. However, beyond raising awareness, the primary purpose of this information is to assure you that you are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of students just like you, feeling the same way you do. If your college experience was the highlight of your life, that’s wonderful. But if it wasn’t, your most fulfilling years are yet to come, and you don’t need to carry the burden of feeling like you failed.
If you are still in college, here are some practical ways to make your college experience more rewarding.
For Handling Academic Stress:
● Set realistic goals, and break larger assignments into smaller tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
● Use campus resources (tutors, writing centers, and study workshops), which help improve your performance.
● Start your assignments early and study for tests and exams in advance. Making consistent, daily progress and compounding information is far more effective than cramming or sacrificing sleep to meet a deadline. (Trust me, I know it from experience!)
● Don’t wait for motivation. Beat procrastination by starting NOW; it’s the perfect time. And reward yourself for completing your tasks.
For Coping With Financial Strain:
● Budget effectively. Track your spending and prioritize necessities over luxuries.
● Seek financial support by applying for scholarships, bursaries, or emergency funds offered by the university.
● Work part-time or start side gigs. A lot of universities offer part-time work to students, which can be a great way for you to cover expenses or fund memorable experiences.
For Overcoming Social Anxiety and Loneliness:
● Join clubs or interest groups. As someone who struggled with social anxiety, it is such a lifesaver to join groups of people who share your interests. It is a great way to bond. And if the prospect of talking to people scares you, join anyway. You don’t have to talk right away; someone will probably speak to you first. And as you keep attending you may warm up enough to share a few words or opinions.
● Start with small conversations or study groups rather than large social events. Set small goals for yourself every day, like paying someone a compliment, or just saying “hi” to someone.
● Leverage digital communities. Online groups or forums for students can provide social interaction when in-person connection feels too intimidating. (I joined some study and film servers on Discord and have met some great people.)
Important: Remember to protect your privacy and keep your personal information secure while online.
For Dealing with Mental Health Issues:
● Use campus counseling. Many colleges offer free or low-cost therapy sessions.
● Practice self-care. I am aware of how difficult it is to prioritize self-care when other areas of life are very demanding, but it’s important to remember that academic, financial, and social success depend on maintaining your well-being. This can be in the form of getting enough sleep, exercising, and incorporating your hobbies to improve your mood.
● Practice mindfulness and stress-reduction techniques. Try implementing meditation, journaling, prayer, or deep breathing to reduce anxiety or alleviate symptoms of mental illness.
● Reach out to peers and/or mentors. Mental health issues thrive under silence and secrecy. The best thing you can do for yourself is reach out to someone and plainly say, “I’m not okay.”
Keep in mind, this information is meant to help you, not fill you with doubt, worry, or negativity. There are many students who emerge from college wishing they could do it all over again, and some who come crawling out of campus, glad they made it out alive. I am simply highlighting the more practical and less idealized realities of the college experience—realities that are often acknowledged but seldom talked about. Yet even with all the obstacles college presents, it proves itself an excellent environment for development. I cannot promise a perfect college experience, but I can guarantee growth through the development of skills, resilience, and a work ethic. My college experience thus far has not been what I expected in the least, but I have grown in ways I never thought possible, and that counts for something. Your college experience doesn’t have to be perfect to be valuable. By seeking support, managing stress (or at least trying to), building connections, and focusing on personal growth, you can make your time at college meaningful—even when it’s challenging. You got this!
If you’re struggling with mental health or experiencing thoughts of suicide, you’re not alone.
Reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline:
● Call or Text: 988
● Online Chat: 988lifeline.org
References
- Barbayannis, G., Bandari, M., Zheng, X., Baquerizo, H., Pecor, K.W., and Ming, X. 2022. Academic Stress and Mental Well-Being in College Students: Correlations, Affected Groups, and COVID-19. Frontiers in Psychology 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.886344
- Moore, A., Nguyen, A., Rivas, S., Bany-Mohammed, A., Majeika, J., and Martinez, L. 2021. A qualitative examination of the impacts of financial stress on college students’ well-being: Insights from a large, private institution. SAGE Open Medicine 9. https://doi.org/10.1177/20503121211018122
- Mulaudzi, I.C. 2023. Challenges Faced by First-Year University Students: Navigating the Transition to Higher Education. Journal of Education and Human Development 12(2). https://www.researchgate.net/publication/378709272_Challenges_Faced_By_First-Year_University_Students_Navigating_the_Transition_to_Higher_Education
- One in Three College Freshmen Worldwide Reports Mental Health Disorder. [Press release]. American Psychological Association. 2018.
- Rock, A. 65% of College Students Are Lonely, New Report Finds. Campus Safety, 23 May 2024. https://www.campussafetymagazine.com/news/65-of-college-students-are-lonely-new-report-finds/135281/
- Vidourek, R.A., King, K.A., Nabors, L.A., and Merianos, A.L. 2014. Students’ benefits and barriers to mental health help-seeking. Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine 2(1): 1009-1022. https://doi.org/10.1080/21642850.2014.963586 Zha, Y., Tang, Q., Jin, X., Cai, X., Gong, W., Shao, Y., and Weng, X. 2023. Development of social anxiety cognition scale for college students: Basing on Hofmann’s model of social anxiety disorder. Frontiers in Psychology 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1080099
- Zha, Y., Tang, Q., Jin, X., Cai, X., Gong, W., Shao, Y., and Weng, X. 2023. Development of social anxiety cognition scale for college students: Basing on Hofmann’s model of social anxiety disorder. Frontiers in Psychology 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1080099
